Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Happy Father's Day
The idea for creating a day for children to honor their fathers began in Spokane, Washington. A woman by the name of Sonora Smart Dodd thought of the idea for Father's Day while listening to a Mother's Day sermon in 1909.
Having been raised by her father, William Jackson Smart, after her mother died, Sonora wanted her father to know how special he was to her. It was her father that made all the parental sacrifices and was, in the eyes of his daughter, a courageous, selfless, and loving man. Sonora's father was born in June, so she chose to hold the first Father's Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th of June, 1910.
In 1926, a National Father's Day Committee was formed in New York City. Father's Day was recognized by a Joint Resolution of Congress in 1956. In 1972, President Richard Nixon established a permanent national observance of Father's Day to be held on the third Sunday of June. So Father's Day was born in memory and gratitude by a daughter who thought that her father and all good fathers should be honored with a special day just like we honor our mothers on Mother's Day.
The excert below is from the Silver Anniversary Book on Father's day published in 1935.
"This year, 1935, the Silver Anniversary of Fathers' Day is being observed. Thirty-seven years ago, in the Big Bend hills of Washington, the day had its nativity in a lonely farm dwelling. There Sorrow ministered amid the moaning of the March winds.
A father sat with bowed head in his aloneness. About him clung his weeping children. The winds outside threw great scarfs of powdered snow against the window panes, when suddenly the last born tore himself from the group and rushed out into the storm calling for his mother. Yet even his baby voice could not penetrate the great silence that held this mother.
Hurriedly, the father gathered him back to his protection and for more than two decades, William Jackson Smart, alone, kept paternal vigilance over his motherless children.
This poignant experience in the life of Mrs. John Bruce Dodd of Spokane, Washington, who was then Sonora Louise Smart, was the inspiration for Fathers' Day which materialized through the devotion of this father and the father of her own son, John Bruce Jr., born in 1909. Through the observance of the love and the sacrifice of fathers about her everywhere, her idea of Fathers' Day crystallized in 1910, through a formal Fathers' Day petition asking recognition of fatherhood."
What Makes A Dad
God took the strength of a mountain,
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Monday, June 9, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
They deserve to be happy
Frustration that emanates from misunderstandings, and in some cases betrayal, creates many obstacles that ultimately lead the parties nowhere. Failing to derive true happiness, they engage themselves in activities that negate the true essence of marriage. When one is found engaged in activities that shake the very foundation of trust and faith, the erosion of the bond begins. The wife usually tries to mend the strained relationship by forgiving the husband for acts that would not be acceptable to him if were committed by her.
Mostly this age-old practice proves a futile exercise. There are marriages where the husbands at one point in time come back to their senses and attempt to make married life worthwhile by refraining from activities that are not congenial for happy married life. But such examples are rare.
Not necessarily all love marriages fail. It fails when the good man is missing in the husband or the good woman is missing in the wife. Whether the husband is a son of a lord or himself a lord, a prince, or a pauper does not matter. What matters is the man inside the husband and woman inside the wife.
Wayward young husband and wife, when they attain maturity and experience, may sometimes venture to live a happy life reposing trust in each other, but it hardly works because both the parties by this time have created an unholy world it is difficult to exit.
This situation prevails where both the parties are engaged in forbidden affairs to acquire placebo happiness this way or that way. In many cases the wife is the worst sufferer because of her lost beauty, love for children, social stigma, family prestige, etc.
This is more true when the wife is unable to earn her livelihood or she has to depend on her husband. Economic emancipation of a wife can drastically reduce the high-handedness of the husband. Economic freedom of a wife is not the only criterion to make the home happy, respect for each other is also imperative. There are cases where loyal husbands and loyal wives are doing good jobs and earning good money, yet sticking to one woman or one man tends to be difficult.
When the whole world is open before them, the possibility of developing a passionate relationship with someone other than the life partner cannot be brushed aside. An old man falling for a young woman is not uncommon. These are the cases where lust dominates the affair. A young woman falling for an old man is also induced by many considerations. This type of relationship may look successful for the time being, but most ultimately fail.
Nevertheless, there are couples who are happy and know the art of remaining happy. A few days ago I was in a gathering where one of the guests commented that they were married for 43 years, but enjoyed a feeling that they had married only yesterday. One of my neighbours once told me that the secret of her good health was the love, affection, and respect of her husband for her. To be happy both have a role to play. One party's dedication hardly can bring any desired result. Marriage is a pious relationship. It is heavenly if properly nurtured. It is not only lust and ecstasy. The other name of love is trust and respect for each other. Let me remind the skeptics that marriage is a bond that has many dimensions. It is not confined to physical lust and sexuality only. Nor should proximity diminish one's attachment. There are people like this, but certainly all can not be bracketed under this category.
The love affair of mature persons when physical beauty of one person or of both has taken a back seat is supposed to be stable, and they make happy couple. They care for intrinsic values and abiding faith. Physical beauty and youth are transitory assets.
Diana's death was shocking. If that death hadn't taken place, history would have been different. If we find reasons to blame Prince Charles for Diana's disastrous end, then we also need to analyze the fact that Diana could not confine her love to one man. She kept on falling in love here and there. To be happy, she should have married someone, or she could even maintain a single friendship with someone. It is indeed difficult to live a lonely life. One has to share one's time with someone and has to have someone to love.
Charles is responsible for one mistake, he knew that he still loved Camilla, yet he married Diana, and then failed to love her. He should not have consented to this marriage. Charles did not involve himself with any woman other than Camilla. He has been maintaining this relationship for 35 years. This is amazing and this evokes respect in me.
That the relationship is not tinged with lust is evident from their reticence about the public reaction and from the absence of display of any raw emotion. Camilla never uttered anything offensive against anyone while many have used nasty words about her. Both of them have shown remarkable patience and profound respect for each other.
The relationship is now mellow, so its fruitfulness cannot be denied or prevented with any degree of criticism. Sensible ones will pray for their happiness, and I shall do so even louder, because I firmly believe that they deserve to be happy and they deserve to enjoy the reward of their abiding love for each other.
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Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Coastal TreatDiscovering a new Cox's Bazar
We wanted to travel along the coast. We called it a coast feast and so the traditional Cox's Bazar became our first spot.
On a sunny warm morning, we arrived in Cox's Bazar. It was a long time since I last visited this place -- my reason to avoid it was the huge crowd that I always loathed. You have no privacy. Secondly, with the fall of dusk Cox's Bazar turns into the most boring sea resort I have ever visited. There are no clubs, no entertainment facilities. You just shut yourself up behind the hotel doors and brood over your gloomy years.
So I came here with much trepidation. But what struck me as our car coasted through the busy town is the amount of money that has gone into tourism here -- newer and newer hotels have shot up into the sky and funnily none of them are empty even on this supposedly off-season. Rickshaw fare is astronomically high to piss off any traveller. And tourists were visible even more now -- the middle-class is going out more and more, they are becoming holidaymakers. But still no signs of any clubs or entertainment spot. So, with the conservative Cox's Bazar, tourism stops there.
After we had checked into the forest guesthouse right on the beach (by the way, this is the only staying place closest to the sea), we took a stroll on the beach. We walked a long distance to a quieter place, a huge fishing boat had been beached for repair. It lay banked on one side. We took a dip in the sea to ward off the heat and then sat in the shade of the boat until we felt another need for a swim.
We got off the water thirsty. We thought of the long walk to the forest bungalow and felt thirstier. Then someone saw this signboard -- Mermaid -- hidden behind sandbars. We walked to it and suddenly discovered a new world, like an oasis in the dessert. A beautiful restaurant, landscaped with tree trunks, sawed-off wood boards showing all the rough edges, plants and bushes. The reed-thatched ceiling supported by bamboo poles hung low. The benches are made of pure raw timber chunks. Behind a bar-like counter was a black board scribbled with chalks the menu -- all very stylish.
We sat there, sipped on pineapple slush and lazily watched the sea. A Dutch couple was having lunch -- lobster soup and sandwiches. A Bangali mother in her late 30s walked in with four kids trailing her. The sun-baked kids were hollering around, playing funny games of words totally incomprehensible to us the oldies.
We felt lazy to get up, the lonely sea was giving us such a nice ambience to laze around. And the cool shade of Mermaid was so hypnotising. But our stomachs were grumbling. And we wanted to get that old taste of Jhaubon, the famous restaurant in Cox's Bazar.
And we suffered for our decision dearly. There was a big crowd outside Jhaubon; one might have mistaken the restaurant as a manpower recruitment centre if one did not know what it is. We waited for half an hour while our tummies churned. Finally, we could place our orders and true to its old reputation, the dishes were fantastic.
We spent that afternoon by the sea lying on beach chairs. This time we wanted to see the people -- they came in every shades and hues. Four women clad from head to toe in burkhas walked by, their bare feet ankle-deep in water. The souls inside the burkhas were quiet young as their doe eyes showed, they giggled as they passed by us. The honeymooners were snuggling up against each other on the beach chairs, drowned in their own world. But there were another kind of romantics -- middle-aged men in suits and ties and obese women in bright red sarees and decked with gold ornaments strolled hand in hand. The husbands carrying the vanity bags. Two men in crew cut walked with hands wrapped around each other's waist. It was truly an exhibition of human beings.
The sun turned into a pink ball and dipped beyond the horizon in to the sea. When the sky was full of stars, someone said there was a new restaurant on the beach called Chill and Grill, and that there's going to be a full-moon party on the beach tonight. Our hearts danced, this was a new Cox's Bazar we were hearing about. Wow!
The moon was yet to rise and we walked through the sand in complete darkness -- it was that magical time before it becomes a full-moon night. From the distance we could hear drum beats. Kerosene lanterns indicated the way to the restaurant. Once inside the restaurant, we were amazed -- we could not believe our eyes that this was Bangladesh, this was our old quaint Cox's Bazar. If I were brought here blindfolded, I would have vouched that this was Goa. We sat on wooden sofas, put our legs on raw-textured wooden tables, relaxed to the swish of the palm trees and watched the neon-lit window of the kitchen. The aroma from food was simply mouth-watering. There was a hammock tied between two palm trees and somebody was lying in it. A small pool was lit mysteriously.
The full-moon beach party started after 10. Huge sound boxes set on the sand blared music. People were appearing on the moon-lit beach -- men and women. And they swung their bodies to the rhythm of the beat. The soft sand underneath was a bit awkward, but you felt good. This was a new breed of tourists we were meeting here -- the ones who are bold and fun-seeking, who love to spend holidays as holidays should be.
We walked away from the party at midnight, leaving the drumbeat behind. Ahead of us was the foaming sea and the sandy beach all washed with moonlight. There was that big fishing boat we saw in the morning, still lying on its side. We could see the pale shadow it cast. The beach chairs were piled together. We lay on them, the huge moon was hanging directly over our head, bathing this whole world in its soft rays. Away in the distance, we could make out a fishing trawler, slowly bobbing on the sea. A lonely dog trotted along the beach aimlessly. It looked like a spirit coming from nowhere and going nowhere. We felt light like a sheaf of corn ready to be blown away to the moon.
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Friday, February 8, 2008
The History of Valentine's Day
Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.
According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.
While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial -- which probably occurred around 270 A.D -- others claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February 15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.
To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification.
The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February -- Valentine's Day -- should be a day for romance. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.
In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first mass-produced valentines in America.
According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.)
Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France, and Australia.
Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages (written Valentine's didn't begin to appear until after 1400), and the oldest known Valentine card is on display at the British Museum. The first commercial Valentine's Day greeting cards produced in the U.S. were created in the 1840s by Esther A. Howland. Howland, known as the Mother of the Valentine, made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as "scrap".
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Tuesday, January 1, 2008
He Said

He said a lot of things actually. He said he wanted locks of shiny black ringlets that bounce when she shakes her head in friendly disapproval; he said he wanted eyes that would look like a bowl of cool water- undisturbed, unadulterated- that reflects the night sky; he said he wanted a smile that would chisel out a dimple on her cheeks; he said he wanted the smell of smoke and honey on the curve of her neck when she throws her head back to laugh her schoolgirl laugh. Give him that and he would build a temple for her out of ice that never melts and wild saffron roses that never wilt; give him that and he would put his heart in a sandalwood box and offer it for her keep. He said a lot of things…
That is not surprising. As a mandate of the human nature, we tend to seek out the “perfect woman”. The woman who can do no wrong, who with her aura of mysticism and almost-painful beauty can fill a man's heart with love. There are so many dimensions to a woman, it is said that she is like a map to the unexplored. Yet all of it- the longing, the wistfulness, the aspiration- boils down to a single question: what is a “perfect woman”?
The orthodoxy is that a man is a shallow creature in an eternal quest to find beautiful women. However, if that was the case, a woman would be no different from a souvenir. And, indeed, not a map to uncharted grounds. Of course, a woman to an extent is defined by her beauty and grace, as much as a man is defined by his build and strength. But beauty is skin deep, and to get to the blood and the life flow of it all, there is something more.
The term “perfect woman”- even to the most promiscuous of men- is often interchangeably usable with soul mates. Someone who you can be with for years, and even a lifetime, at a stretch without getting tired of it. Contrary to popular belief, it does not take love to get there; it takes an indestructible bond of friendship. A woman needs to be a man's friend, his comrade. She needs to communicate her feelings with the man, as much as he needs to communicate with her. Open communication paves the way for trust and mutual respect, in the knowledge that she has nothing to hide and neither does he.
On a lighter note, she must possess a wicked sense of humour- a woman who can make you laugh is a woman worth the keep. In fact, there are very few men who would love to have a dried up prune as their woman. She would also love travel and adventure, and when- but only when- time demands it love living on the edge and taking risks. Travelling and globe-trotting is an experience, and any ordinary man would love to share that experience with their special someone.
Equally, a women needs to know not to encroach on the man's personal space. Most women make the mistake of being too inquisitive. If the man does not want to talk about something, don't badger him with lines like: “you don't love me anymore”. Give him the time, and when the time is right he will speak up.
Moreover, a woman who knows how to whip up a hearty meal is an added value. They say that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach… and they are right. Words of wisdom.
Coming to think of it, he did say an awful lot of things… but if the price is his heart in a sandalwood box and a temple carved out of ice and flowers, it is definitely worth a try.
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Monday, December 10, 2007
Victory Day-Dawns in the Dusk
Speak of a year synonymous with disaster and the future will hold 2007 in pretty high reckoning - - at least as far as Bangladesh and her people are concerned.
By all estimations 2007 has been one of the most difficult and trying times for the people of this land. Crippled by natural disasters, choked by political strife and caught up in the vagaries of change, Bangladesh has struggled through a year stumbling from one problem to another, never managing to get the new start that looked so probable at the dawn.
Another year that began with optimism born out of resilience nears its end with suffering at top of the agenda. Which is why, December 16th takes on such great meaning. This Victory Day, evoking memories of a triumph against all odds 37 years previously, should provide us not only with a feel-good factor as always but work as a springboard to heal our wounds and move on.
It is something that we do well, have kept on doing for a while now and therefore should use to the best of our abilities to provide us some respite from a year that included Cyclone Sidr, ravaging floods and a huge change in the political landscape.
240 km/hr winds of destruction hit on November 15 killing thousands, affecting millions, ravaging livestock and leaving innumerable not knowing how they will go through the next day.
Unfortunately this was not the only display of Mother Nature's wrath.
Floods continued to wreck their yearly havoc across the length and breadth of the country, leaving over six hundred dead and millions displaced. Although the waters have long since receded damage to crops however, water-borne diseases remain rampant.
And proving three is the number of misery, a dramatic cold wave early in the year left nearly two hundred dead to compound the woes of the oft-suffering people.
That was just in the natural font.
Change swept its flighty wings across the political landscape.
A year, which began with the now well-known 1/11 and which has seen emergency rule and a caretaker government for the most part of it.
As with most things Bangaldeshi, that too started off promisingly but has tended to peter off with the passing of time.
The optimism and vigour that marked the opening few months, the setting right of all who wronged in the past all promised so much but has failed to deliver.
Disillusionment has set in again and all the new beginnings are being judged as false dawns.
The familiarity of failure threatens to overwhelm us yet again. But disappearing into mediocrity is not what Victory Day is about. Which is why it comes at such an opportune moment reminding us that while so many things have gotten away from us this year (and the year before and the year before…), there is one that shall stay with us forever.
The memory of a day when our nation was born is still churned out of folklore by the new generation. But if anything can provide riposte to the certainty of failure it is that. So come December 16, let us celebrate and embrace a great victory, perhaps the only great victory that we have won.
Let us shed all that threatens to swallow us up and revel in the few minutes of greatness that all of us are due. No matter how corrupted we get, how much flood water seeps in or how many promising governments fail, Victory Day is something that will afford us that bit of pride in having achieved something. Maybe it will only be a brief time-out from reality but as they say, something is better than nothing.
Here is, where we raise (for as many times as necessary) our glasses for the hope of a new and improved Bangladesh.
December 16 is our Christmas miracle....as unexpected and impossible as a virgin giving birth....but it happened.
And just once.
Maybe that's what makes it so special.
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Sunday, December 2, 2007
Hatkora Lemons
For Sylhetis, the true-bred ones, the Hatkora is a legendary and greatly demanded item at the dinner table. This species of lemon is an essential to go along with the curry at dinner for Sylhetis with the finer taste-buds.
Botanically, Hatkora is a species of the Rutaceas family. It looks green and round like any regular lemon, but has a reputation unlike any other. A Hatkora tastes sour and sweet. Sylhetis accustomed to its taste find it delicious while it has very little appeal to non-Sylhetis. One reason for that is that although it is available almost everywhere in Sylhet, it is not grown or even consumed anywhere else in Bangladesh.
The Indian states of Assam, Meghalaya, Mizoram and Monipur are producers of the best kinds of Hatkora. Hilly areas of the Sylhet Division also produce plenty of Hatkora. The demand for Hatkora particularly in Moulvibazar and Sylhet is so high that Bangladeshi producers can hardly cope with it. Some import this variety from India.
If you happen to be invited for dinner to a Sylheti household, you will be entertained with fish or meat or curry dishes perked up with Hatkora lemons. When you try to prepare curry, with Hatkora, you must be very careful about the quantity. Too much would ruin the whole curry. Hatkora is strong, so all that is required is a hint of it.
There is that account of a non-Sylheti man who heard about the lemon and decided to buy a bulk load of it. To get the best out of the buy he advised his wife to use a large amount of it in the cooking. His wife knew nothing about this species of lemon. So she prepared a fish curry mixing it with huge pieces of it. Needless to say, it was too sour for any human to consume. Not everybody agrees on the merits of Hatkora. Some hate it; others can't live without it.
Hatkora is so popular among the Sylhetis that they love to send it abroad to their friends and relatives who live in the UK, the USA, Canada and other countries.
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Skip a meal
When attempting healthy living, this one move could have truly dramatic results. In a recent study at the Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, the hearts of the leaner human calorie-cutters appeared 10 to 15 years younger than those of regular eaters.
In other research, calorie restrictors improved their blood insulin levels and had fewer signs of damage to their DNA. Eating less food, scientists believe, may reduce tissue wear and tear from excess blood sugar, inflammation, or rogue molecules known as free radicals.
Try it
Skip a meal a day- according to whatever suits you best. You don't need to try to cut calories; research suggests you'll naturally consume less that day. Or try fasting one day a week. Just drink plenty of water.
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Do you think Cox's Bazar will be selected as one of the seven natural beauty?
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